and it all comes out

I had an awesome weekend. I really loved it. I hung out with my favorite Morgan. We had a blast. Other than that, the weather was nice, baseball season about 2 weeks away, Britney Spears concert is less than 2 weeks away, and NATASHA IS IN 60 SOMETHING DAYS!!!!!

I am really excited.

Tomorrow, I go back to loading packages into trailers at FedEx, rather than working in the office. I am probably going to be sore and struggle this week, but that's life. I actually love life. I like learning about life and growing in life.

I have recently determined that it is so great to find happiness within yourself and let it come from the inside, rather than allowing your happiness to ONLY come from outside events, things, or people. I struggled with this for quite some time now, but it finally made sense. I thought I was happy in making a certain someone happy, but they were never happy and I thought I was not happy. It just continued bringing me down, until recently. I am so happy now, happier than I have been in a while. I almost feel like the last 3 years of my life were wasted because of all I went through, but it was a growing experience, I took away from it a big lesson, and I cannot complain about that. I just wish it wouldn't have taken THREE whole years!! I became someone I didn't even like, I lost a lot of friends, I lost a lot of myself, so many negative things were happening that I just didn't see. I now feel I am almost back to who I was before, so I am thrilled about that!

Anyhow, I have decided I only want to have the best. I cannot allow myself to lower the bar for anyone. I don't feel it is right to change people, especially if they are major changes. I don't want to be changed, so I don't feel it is a good thing to change anyone. I don't want to go into any relationship thinking how or what needs to be changed about them and how I will do it. Instead, I think it is best to continue searching, talking, learning about people, until finding the best there is out there. Someone I appreciate for who they are, what they do, their qualities and imperfections, and someone who feels the same about me. I know it will come, in due time. Who knows how long? Nobody can really know that. It could happen this week, it could happen in 5 years, it could happen in 10. There is really no way of ever knowing, but I just know that it will come when it is supposed to. Until then, I can enjoy what I have now, enjoy my independence, enjoy so many things for myself and with myself, and just not be too hard on myself about finding someone. I'm still young, have a lot to learn, and I don't need someone else to make me happy right now.

I guess I didn't intend for this blog to be a self-realization rant, but it appears as though that is what it turned out to be! I'm okay with that. I learned in stress-management class that it can help reduce stress if you just write down what you are thinking. It may not even make sense what you are righting, it may only make sense to yourself, but nonetheless, it is a form of stress relief. So that means healthy! And who can complain about striving to be healthy?! Not I! :)

Until later... enjoy!

Tied Together With A Smile

"Well played, use a word nobody knows at a time when noone can afford a dictionary!!" Stephen Colbert said this on his show last night, this statement made me laugh harder than I have laughed in quite some time. Well, maybe not that hard. But I absolutely LOVE this statement!! I guess the context can be explained now: Colbert was talking about the AIG company giving their executives big bonuses with some of the millions given in the bailout plan. He went to a guy, I cannot remember the guy or his name, to explain how or why they are able to do that with the money (there is no law saying what the money is to be used for or something). Anyhow, the guy was talking about it and then said something like "aggrogeable" and that's when Colbert responded with my favorite quote. It was great.

Anyhow, I haven't been able to get to sleep very easily at night. I don't know if it is just excitedness, nerves, or what taking its toll. But that is why I am up writing this blog. Perhaps it will soothe me enough to where I can get to sleep soon. hahaha. DOUBT IT.

Well, we have FINALLY had some nice weather here in Minny-soh-tah. It was 67 degrees yesterday!!!! Felt amazing!!

I have been working on the wedding scrapbook I am making for my brother and his new wife. It is coming together quite nicely, I must say. I really like it. I have about 10 pages done, this means I have about twenty or so left to create. It is fun and I really enjoy it, so no big deal really!!

Other than that, I LOVE Taylor Swift!!!! Cannot get enough of her music!! I really want this bracelet she sells on her website. She seems like such an awesome person. When she first came out a few years ago, I wanted to hate her. How immature of me, I'm so glad I got over it!! She rocks. BOTTOM LINE.

Today was St Patrick's Day!! I love it! Just because I love leprechauns and pots o gold. hahaha. I actually just like telling people who aren't wearing green that I'm going to pinch them. I also hate when people try using "I'm not Irish" as an excuse to not wear green. That isn't in the rule books, well not MY rule book, and clearly that's what counts. :) I also am starting to think that "I'm wearing green underwear" just isn't going to cut it as an excuse anymore. So I pinched a couple of those people too. How NICE, I know!

On another subject, movies. If I like a movie I will end up watching it day after day, or 5-6 times a week. That might seem kind of odd or boring to you, but I have been doing it for years. I did it with Shrek my senior year when I had TB, also The Patriot during the same spell (probably a couple of others, because really, what else would I have done with my time?!); I did it with Pirates of the Carribbean my freshman year of college; I did it with The Notebook my junior year of college; and fast forward through a few years, and I have been doing it with School of Rock and Wall-E for the past couple of months! I just love them right now! Wall-E is so great, some of the graphics/scenes are AMAZING. Animation has come a long way! But I especially loves the part when the captain of the space station says "Humans put seeds in the ground, water them, and grow all kinds of food.....like PIZZA!!!!" hahahaha. Simple, corny humor like that really makes me laugh the most. I love it.

Well, that is probably enough fun reading to digest for now! ENJOY! And get to growing your pizzas!! :)

coooookie

To start this one off, I have two verrrry important countdowns to bring into light:

26 days until BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT!!!!

and

73 DAYS UNTIL NATASHKA, JOSHKA, AND HEATHKA!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot wait!!!

I think that 73 days is about right. May 23rd is the expected date of my arrival in the great city of San Diego, to visit the cutest little family in the world, The Holmquists. WOOOO!!!

So now that I have all of that excitement out and installed in all of you, I can continue on with my usual rambles. I have been eating like a crazed maniac, for the past 2 weeks. Although, I think it is finally coming to an end. I need to quit it!! I eat everything in sight, healthy and unhealthy. Probably a lot more of the unhealthy stuff than the healthy though. I should really get control of this.

I have been working on my brother and sister-in-law's wedding scrapbook. It has been fun, but also frustrating. Frustrating because I overthink EVERY little thing. If I just went with my instinct, my natural ideas, and just did things the way I normally do, it would be a lot easier on myself. I just want them to love it!! They most likely will though, I just need to quit the worrying.

Well, later today I plan on making some cookies. I haven't decided exactly what kind yet. I am thinking chocolate chip, but perhaps I should do m&m's. This is something new, I don't recall making m&m cookies in a long looong looooooong time, if ever. Strange. What a simple little thing! Well either way, there will be cookies.

Onto news that is not as fun and exciting, I think we are expecting another huge snowstorm sometime within this next week. I am so done with the snow! It needs to stop. Once it goes away, my fatty tooshka babooshka can get out and run. Until then, I guess I get to use it as an excuse to be lazy daisy.

Today, I know so many people who have birthdays! It is crazy. I think I know more people with March Birthdays than any other month. That is just nuts to me. Oh well. Tuesday is my nephew's FIRST birthday! He is so adorable. I miss him.

And on that note, I'm out of here! See ya, wouldn't want to be ya! :)